Bored out of his gourd...

My dear friend, who provided a few chuckles a couple of months back, has struck again. He is bored. I can tell... He needs a different job, one that provides him with stimulation and a chance to be creative and pays him double or even quadruple and doubles his vacation time or even quadruples that. He's definitely cracking up. As proof, I offer you this, his latest email to me...

Did you realize that fried pork rinds are sold by the bag? Evergreen trees are usually green. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches may contain nuts or nut by-products. You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. Big bad boopity boppers will inevitably boopity beep bop biddy boo until the cows come home. And for a little while after. Pink cashmere sweaters are frequently seen as being pink. Sausages can be smoked, but not in a pipe. Two heads are generally thought to be better than one. You should never hit a guy wearing glasses. But, if you're hitting the bottle, it's usually more polite to pour your beverage into a glass. quattro rules!! "San Dimas high school football rules!!" Bogus! What did you find between your couch cushions? Who was Harvey and why would he bang a wall? Why is there no rule of big toe? Have you broken into a smile yet? How long until Monday morning at 8:00am? How much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck, since we all know a woodchuck can chuck wood? Would that hold true for unseasoned wood? Norwegian wood? Wood-grained linoleum? Butter brickle ice cream?

There! See what I mean? He's seriously...uh...seriously...unserious. How I adore him. He makes me feel almost sane...

Curses...

Halloween seemed to have been cursed this year. The neighbor who had expressed great interest in our house informed us that he didn't think he could swing it after all. The trees felt obliged to shed their leaves in one fell swoop all over our freshly raked lawn and our fairly new and unfairly expensive Miele vacuum cleaner fizzled and died last night just as the Rock was going to clean up the substantial quantity of paper bits all over the carpet from the demon paper shredder which had just stroked out and died without warning. I cut my finger on sharp scissors and the milk was sour when I poured it over my cereal in the morning. There was a little pall of doom prevailing in our household yesterday and I think evil (or at least ornery) spirits were loose. However, the ghosties and ghoulies who visited us in the evening seemed pretty benign. Just hungry.

Halloween is over now for another year and our thoughts are turning from witches and black cats to fat turkeys and full bellies. How fast we change gears... Soon the snows will come and the gleaming icicles will be hanging from the roofs and the world will become a wonderland of sparkling white and there will be a special kind of quiet that can only be had when the snow blankets everything and mutes all sound and makes it seem "otherworldly." I love it when that happens and it amazes me when the same neighborhood that "sprouts" outlandish and raucous demons and ghouls one month becomes a dazzling fantasy land in another. I think I'd better get out the baking supplies. The holiday hormones are at work...