Bored out of his gourd...

My dear friend, who provided a few chuckles a couple of months back, has struck again. He is bored. I can tell... He needs a different job, one that provides him with stimulation and a chance to be creative and pays him double or even quadruple and doubles his vacation time or even quadruples that. He's definitely cracking up. As proof, I offer you this, his latest email to me...

Did you realize that fried pork rinds are sold by the bag? Evergreen trees are usually green. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches may contain nuts or nut by-products. You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish. Big bad boopity boppers will inevitably boopity beep bop biddy boo until the cows come home. And for a little while after. Pink cashmere sweaters are frequently seen as being pink. Sausages can be smoked, but not in a pipe. Two heads are generally thought to be better than one. You should never hit a guy wearing glasses. But, if you're hitting the bottle, it's usually more polite to pour your beverage into a glass. quattro rules!! "San Dimas high school football rules!!" Bogus! What did you find between your couch cushions? Who was Harvey and why would he bang a wall? Why is there no rule of big toe? Have you broken into a smile yet? How long until Monday morning at 8:00am? How much wood CAN a woodchuck chuck, since we all know a woodchuck can chuck wood? Would that hold true for unseasoned wood? Norwegian wood? Wood-grained linoleum? Butter brickle ice cream?

There! See what I mean? He's seriously...uh...seriously...unserious. How I adore him. He makes me feel almost sane...