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Do I Know You?
A few e-mails from my archive of electronic curiousities
You know, when you choose an e-mail address like
don't really expect people to accidentally type in your
address instead of their friend. I mean, it's not like I picked
email@example.com, right? How many people know (or care) what
the phrase "escape velocity" is? Apparently, more than one might
think. In the past few years, I've received a lot of mail meant
for other people's eyes but somehow aimed at mine instead. Now, in
the interest of evil, I present a few favorites so you can laugh at or
worry about these people like I did. (Spelling and grammar remain
as they were. Return addresses have been removed so you
guys can't harass the senders...or warn them about this site!)
- ISO Shaun
Hulsizer: #1 - Searching for that special someone...
- staaaaaaar: #2 - Allie apologizes to Star. On behalf of Star, thanks.
- sicksick I shouldnt want
to exist: #3 - This is about as intense as I care
for my e-mail to get. It's obvious from this that Allie has
severe problems with anorexia and issues of self-worth. Something
about that subject line has always intrigued
- hey bro: #4 - This
is a brilliant little missive from the hand of a guy named
Steven who apparently wants to be a "fuction climber". Sounds
dirty, where do I sign up?
- me paru begging
sorry to u: #5 - This is an interesting one
because it's apparently from Nepal. Oddly, when I signed up for
MSN messenger awhile back, some Nepalese folks kept trying to add
me to their Buddies List. Coincidence? We may never know for sure.
- i love hello kitty: #6 - My friend
has a free e-mail account through hellokitty.com, and messages like this
occasionally just show up in his inbox. Apparently people like this girl can send
mail to everyone on the site? Very odd indeed.
- Hello my dear!!!: #7 - For
some unknown reason, my friend has been receiving a lot of letters from Russian
women lately. It may have something to do with his willingness to chat with anyone
online. Maybe these hopeful mail-order brides are looking for the big capitalist
payday in an American husband. The point is, their e-mails are hilarious. Spelling-wise
they're on the ball but the grammar looks like it's been through the spin cycle. A bad
computer translation program? Fake writers trying to purposely mangle the English language
to lull the unwary reader into a false sense of security? Judge for yourself.
If someone has accidentally sent an e-mail to you, and you have
no idea who they are, feel free to send
it my way and I'll post it here, giving credit to you of
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