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Mistaken Message #3: Allie Doesn't Feel So Good

From: Allie
To: (me)
Subject: sicksick I shouldnt want to exist
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 07:31:58 EDT

Hey Danielle,
Ugh, I'm sorry I didnt send you that email last night. I still have it saved, but i dont want to send it any more just because its old and rediculous. lol. So i'm up at the ass crack of down, i'm just going to write you a new one. :)

Things have been really bad for me this week. I dont think i've been able to keep down a single thing that i've eaten. I've not been able to get my feet back on the ground since i was out on vacation with max. When i was with him, i actually wanted to eat healthy. He was so cute. Everything that we'd eat, he'd tell me all these reasons why it was okay to let it nourish my body and i would eat it happily, not even thinnking about getting rid of it or exersizing obsessively to make it disappear. I drank sugar sweetened coffee, two fucking bites of a crispy creme doughnut, pasta and chicken filled with mozzerella cheese, bread dripping with oil and balsamic vinegar (max is very italian if you've not guessed) All this stuff and when i got home, the first thing i did was weigh myself....and i lost 4lbs! So I should have been happy right? Success, I can eat normal food and not gain 579716 pounds. But I can't do it. Not on my own. I can't let myself eat normal with out feeling like I'm out of control. When I got home, I weigh 108 lbs but have since put on about 4 lbs. Lowest weight yet. I dont even have a desired weight, I just need to feel skinny and clean. I look in the mirror and make sure i can see 4 ribs and jutting hip bones. I look at the way my watch fits around my writst. Its on the smallest setting and its almost to the point where it spins all the way around, but doesnt cuz it catches on the bone. I love that. I measure my waist with my hands. I should only need to expand my index finger to thumb around my waist as if it were measuring tape, three times. I know exactly how thin my arms are, my thighs are....i hate my face, i still can't figure out how to loose weight in my fucking face. ARgh! I want anorexic cheekbones. Fuck.

So anyway i'm going off on this really lame rant when all i wanted to say was that, i'm in the grips of some strange variation of ana and i don't care. I dont even binge on fun stuff. Everyone says, OoO ice creame and milkshakes are my favorite things to b/p. I can't bring myself to buy that garbage. I try to eat natural healthy food. A part of me hopes to keep it down every time i eat. But things feel like they get out o hand and a salad turns into this horrible pigfeast that I should feel ashamed off and get rid of. And I do.
I dont know what its going to take to feel any differently. I know that i'm losing weight. I know that its okay to eat food as long as I exersize. I know that if I gain 4lbs, its water weight, not fat. But none of that means shit. I still feel this need to keep all food out of my body. . I shouldnt want to norish the waste of skin I inhabit. And even tho i have my reasons to want to....the feelign of food in my belly is more insense and strong than my feelings to want to eat and be healthy are.

i feel like i've been walking around with my head up my own ass for the last week, totally consumed with food and barely anything else. It pisses me off because food does not deserve that much attn. Blah. Last night I ate a salad and i was telling myself over and over and over, you will keep this down. It was good for you. You need to eat something today. blah blah blah. I was okay up untill I started talking with my friend shannon. She's been trying to get a hold of me for the past week to find out how my vacation went and to tell me about how things have been going for her. I have not been in the mood to talk to anyone. Anyone. So i've chosen to disregurard all her IM's and Voice Mails...I am the worst friend ever. I admit that. And its all because i dont have the energy to do anything else but obsess over food. Fucking sick. And even worse is finding out that I chose to ignore my best friend when she really needed me so I could focus on puking my guts out and patting myself on the back with every cup filled to the top. Shannon is going through this really horrible thing, some guy totally took advantage of her while she was drunk, she doesnt remember hardly any of it, but knows that what she does remember, conflicts with what the guy is telling her. Basically while she was laying on her bed, drunk out of her mind, he let himself into her apt, was whispering in her ears how he wanted to fuck her even tho she wasnt pretty and he didnt really like her in that way. HOW HORRID! And she was so drunk she just layed there and listened to him and let him put his hands on her. :( And now she's feeling so down on herself and so confused about how this guy goes from being one of her best friends one night and then now, he's such an asshole. And i can't even begin to understand how she's coping with any of this. I"m scared for her. I'm beyond pissed off at myself. I should have been there for her last week to help her get through this and help her to understand that this guy has no right to make her think that low of herself, he's the pig. And i'm just overwhelmed with hate for myself and the way i've been acting...I didnt deserve that salad. Get rid of it. go to bed with a raw throat, a sore back, an empty stomach..have nightmares, there is no peace in sleep for wretched girls like me.

I'm sitting here now with my coffee. Drinking coffee now cuz its a comfort food almost. I think of being with max when I drink coffee. :) Before i went to stay with him, i had given up on caffiene because I read somewhere that it makes your body hold on to fat and its makes it even more difficult to exersize and tone. I'm scared cuz i shouldnt want to drink this coffee, but i am. Stupid.

Energy. Little kids. Envy. I know exactly what you mean. I wish i could remember what it felt like to be that pure.

When you started telling me about hwo you've been feeling these days, my throat nearly swelled shut. You're soooo tiny, Danielle! 88 lbs is extreemly thin. Thats probably what is most appealing, tho. I think the weight you're at is borederline safe considering you've been blacking out and your hair is thinning. Make sure you're getting a good amount of vitamins in your system that have protein, calcium and potassium. That will help you feel more energetic, your bones will be stronger and your hair will fall out less. But maybe you enjoy those things. :-/

I envy the way your relationship with your mother... Well to an extent, cuz i know its not at all pleasent for you, but you have to admit her heart is in the right direction. She cares enough about you to notice that you need to eat, to exersize less. She gives you incentive to eat like digital cameras. Things she knows you love and would adore to have, so perhaps you'll finally eat something and gain a bit of weight. My mother doesnt care. When she says anythign about my weight, it has this sarcastic undertone. "Pfft, allison you're wasting away, whats the matter with you?!" "allison, you look sick." Thats about it. Thats compassion and understanding, no? Thats here tellign me she cares about me and wants me to get better, right? heh. Its so crazy cuz my relationship with my mom is fine now that i dont live at home. We get along on such a great but surface level. Thats fine with me. Its appeasing this disorder so perhaps i should be thankful. Did i tell you about the time she dragged me to the hospital when i was in 9th grade because i was too thin?

My mom can't handle the fact that i'm fucked up so she choose to ignore it and maybe it'll go away. Maybe i'll go away. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm What a beautiful thought. Anyway. my mom doesnt think i have a right to feel any way other than completely normal and fine. I have not experienced shit in my life to cause me the mental anguish that would lead me to want to Self Injure or starve myself. No one's pain and torment can compare to hers. I'm just a big baby who feels sorry for herself. okay.

My mom flipped out when she found out that i was a Self Injurer. I never wanted her to know. Ever. But I had lent a book called "cutting" by steven levenkron to a "friend". He was studying psychology in college and I wanted him to get a better understanding of how the disease worked. SI is a disease that needs more medical research and understanding inorder to find better ways to help people who are interested in overcoming the urge to hurt themself. Anyway, this friend is a fucking moron who only cared about the subject cuz he had a crush on me. When i told him it wasnt happenin', he grew out of touch. Months later the book ends up in my mailbox. I'm sleeping at 1pm. My mom gets the mail. Book. FUCK. My mother freaks out! She flips through the book....it clearly displays that its my book as it was inscibed to me from choklit cow for personal strength, understanding and possible recovery, no pressure. (she hates cc-long story) So my mom freaks the fuck out. comes tearin' into my room with that book in hand and she rippes the covers off of me and starts shoving this book in my face. *blink* She grabbed my leg and started pulling me off the bed, trying to pull my clothing up so she could see if i had cuts on me. I was in shock. I woke up enough to sit up and fight her back and told her to settle down. She stopped. She looked at me like i was this pitiful person and how dare I make her feel like this. She's like, you dont need to do this, you dont know what problems even are. What does this mean?!!!! Blah blah blah. I wanted to badly to tell her all the reasons i Self injure. I wanted to tell her how i love it, burns, burises, blades, deprivation, starvation. I wanted to tell her how huge of a part of my life it was. I wanted to tell her my triggers. I wanted to tell her she was my hugest trigger. I wanted to totally open her eyes to all the shit that i bust my ass to hide from her...part of me was hopign to maybe get her to understand me, but she shit all over those ideas of wanting to share what i was going through with her. i didnt even have a chance. I just kept my mouth shut and told her that it didnt matter, i have no explainations for her. i can go into more detail about how this whole thing unravled latah cuz FUCK its 6:30am.

I have to get ready for work now, but i'd like to talk to you more about SI and ana and how they are so closely related. Do you know why you're feeling the need to cut/self injure? When was the last time you cut? Is it helping you feel better? I definatly want to continue this conversation, but i do have to get going. blah at my redundant paragraph, lol


*hugs you*

Be well,
allie


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