Nothing up my sleeve...

All right... Who took ‘em? Give them back. Now!! I’m talking about sleeves. I didn't work fast enough and it looks now like I might be a bit too late to ever have clothing with coverage again. Grrrrrr… Everywhere I look it’s a case of the missing or maimed clothing. Regarding sleeves, for instance, all I see are these stupid looking little excuses attached to the shoulders. Considering that everyone’s shirts all look like they shrank in the wash anyway, this is just the final insult.

When you get right down to it, arms aren’t all that attractive. I mean, heck, they aren’t… There are very few arms that say ‘come hither.’ Other parts of the body maybe but arms, no. Most upper arms are too skinny or too fat and hangy.

Okay, I grant you, it gets hot in the summer. So…just wear a sleeveless top or something why don’t you? Don’t go mucking about with time honored plain old regular clothes for us plain old time-worn folks. Have a heart already. Damn designers…all a bunch of sadists if you ask me, which of course you didn’t. All I’m asking for here is a regular short sleeve length on my knitted shirts. That’s not too much to ask, is it?

They've taken waistbands off of pants.. I don’t care for waistbands anyway since I like the comfort of elastic waists and there are some pretty clever elastic waistbands which don’t look like Aunt Mabel’s ortho duds and actually make a decent showing as real clothing. But NO waist line period, is more than I can endure. And besides, they’ve taken out half the bodies of of pants. Witness all those bare belly buttons and back cracks peeking out all over the place.

They’ve taken out a pretty sizeable quantity of fabric from clothing in general at this point and for this travesty they continue to charge ever more. It’s a case of less is more I guess. In art that can be interesting. In clothing it’s only interesting to guys. Well mostly anyway. No one even seems to look all that comfortable anymore either, what with all the tugging, shimmying, scrunching that goes on. One false move and ohboy…mystery over.

But all I’m asking for is a basic tee shirt or knitted shirt with real honest-to-gosh regular sleeves…the kind that was standard on most shirts, dresses and short-sleeved sweaters and jackets up until this year. Not those stupid looking little ‘cap’ things that get stuck in your armpits and bring attention to crepe-y, hangy looking arms or arms like sticks.’ I’m looking for justice…