Friday, July 2, 2004 6:27 PM
From: Steve Chupaska, the gent mentioned below on 07 April
Subject: Steve to the Corinthians
Last week I was at my friends wedding in San Diego. During the
servicethat would be the non-alcoholic part of the festivitiesthe
pastor read a passage from the first letter of Paul to the
Corinthians. It got me thinking. No, not about the message of
Christs love Paul hoped impart to the citizens of Corinth. I was
thinking about the fact that Paul didnt really keep up on his end of
the correspondence, did he? All, right he did manage to scribble
one more lousy epistle. But since thennada. And that was in
A.D. 53, well before email.
Now, I was once an American teenager with appalling hair, so I
know what its like to have people not call you back. So as an
expression of my sympathy and solidarity with the Corinthians, I
The first letter of Steve to the Corinthians.
Hows things? Ive been meaning to write you for a while,
especially since Paul couldnt find the time to pick up a quill every
now and then. He was no doubt gloating about Damascus, and
having his life transformed. Nowadays, hed probably be on the
Still, I think we have a lot in common. I live in Connecticut. Its
halfway between New York and Boston so goes the refrain. So,
do you tell people Were halfway between Athens and Sparta?
Well, while Im on this point: did you tend to side with the
Athenians or the Spartans in the marathons and discus throws?
I think we should help each other find out more about our
respective cultures. I imagine most people are familiar with your
great city through your decorative columns. Oh, and Ricardo
Mantalban has spoken favorably about your leather.
So, this is what I know about you. I understand that you were
captured and plundered by Mummius in 146 B. C. Shortly
thereafter, Caesar and Hadrian restored an expanded your
borders, but then you were attacked by Heruli, Visigoths and
Slavs. I can understand being ravaged by the Visigoths; its sort of
their mètier. I mean no ancient people have ever said, You know,
the Visigoths came by last month. Couldnt have been nicer.
Youve also been under the control of the French, Venetians and
I remember reading somewhere that your dried grapes are
particularly delicious. Did you know we get the English word
currant from Corinth? I bet it pleases you.
Well, Connecticut was under British rule for about 150 years, but
since then weve been on our own. Not much plundering in our
history, certainly not by the Visigoths. The English burnt New
London during the Revolution, destroying several homes, which
dealt a serious blow to the colonial mil rate. But weve been pretty
undamaged in our history. I feel bad. Youve had wars and
earthquakes. Weve had bad winters and unending construction
Anyway, I got to go. Please write back. Heres one thing I could
never get my head around when I first read the Bible: did you ever
write Paul back? I mean Pauls letters made into the BIBLE. Where
did your responses end up anyway, the May 27, 1985 issue of
The Nation with Trotsky on the cover (again)?
Hope to hear from you.