A diamond is forever...
Dear husband is a real find. He’s a true gem. That’s what I’ve always said… Now I’m going to have to reconsider that statement. Perhaps I should say my husband is a gem in rehearsal, or a diamond in the rough, so to speak... He’s not polished enough. In fact, right now he’s just a resource material. Or to look at it another way, he’s merely a twinkle in the eye of a cremation services technologist. Of course the same could be said about me. And now, when I look at our dear doggy friend, I see a definite purpose for his humble existence too… Maybe a pair of earrings or a pendant to be hung from a gold chain, or a nice ring…
The thing that made me start thinking about this is an article I read about a woman who turned her husband’s cremains into a diamond. Well, she didn’t actually do it, she had someone else do it. It seems that her husband died of a brain tumor and she decided that she’d honor him in a special way so she’d never forget him. I’d never forget my husband, that’s for sure…
In life, if this guy started looking a little yellow around the edges he’d probably have been carted off to the doctor’s office post haste… Or in the case of a missed opportunity to distinguish himself, he might have been accused of being cowardly. But now he’s as solid as a guy can be. He’s rock solid, a real ‘forever’ kind of guy. He is, in reality, a half-carat yellow diamond…resting in a nicely finished wooden box and sporting a letter of authenticity.
This is recycling gone crazy, although the argument could also be made it’s very practical and space- saving, since no burial plot has to be purchased. Just think, no more do you have to spend a lot of time and money with a boring old funeral home making costly arrangements to take care of the ‘garbage.’ Instead, you get to have all the fun of picking out new jewelry. That would certainly perk you up at a dreary time. Just think of the possibilities…
To create this gem, you have to heat the cremains to extreme temperatures, then the carbon is subjected to a walloping amount of pressure and finally you have a stone which is identical to diamonds that develop within the bowels of the earth over many eons. The nitrogen in the air is what causes the diamonds to be yellow in color, and unfortunately, you’ll probably be limited to only certain wardrobe colors, since the bright yellow wouldn’t look good on just any outfit. But hey, it’s only a small sacrifice, not enough to kill anyone. So to speak…
You’ll need insurance, of course, and I don’t know what actuarial chart you’d use to determine the value of the spousal diamond. But after all, if you didn’t want your spouse to be made off with by some other person when alive, you sure wouldn’t want your new ‘gem’ to become the victim of a crime as a jewel either. The process of making these jewels is expensive so the investment would be dear and I bet the insurance would be exorbitant…
The cost for a quarter carat is about $2,500 and goes up to $13,000 for a full carat, but according to the article, the diamonds can be made into any size and this is one case when overweight might be a true asset. (I just threw this last part in to make myself feel better since I admit to a little extra ‘poundage.’) I guess the price isn’t so much different, from what I’ve seen quoted for a ‘decent’ funeral and burial, whatever constitutes decent.
And why spend all that money on an albatross of a headstone to possibly be desecrated when roughians raid the boneyard on a spooky scrimmage at Halloween or after a night of heavy refreshment? This way, your loved one is in a nice, tidy easy-to-look-after little parcel…and you’ll be a couple again.
Ladies and gentlemen, just think…you’ll never again have to wonder where that darned spouse went. You’d always have him or her close at hand and you wouldn’t be disparaged if you have a penchant to spend too much money on glittery trinkets…or whatever else is your particular weakness. Close at hand but not looking over your shoulder either. If your diamond is from a beloved pet, there would be no obedience issues to cloud your relationship. This would be the perfect pet. Clean, beautiful and easy to handle… Hmmmmn, there might be something to this after all.
The thing that made me start thinking about this is an article I read about a woman who turned her husband’s cremains into a diamond. Well, she didn’t actually do it, she had someone else do it. It seems that her husband died of a brain tumor and she decided that she’d honor him in a special way so she’d never forget him. I’d never forget my husband, that’s for sure…
In life, if this guy started looking a little yellow around the edges he’d probably have been carted off to the doctor’s office post haste… Or in the case of a missed opportunity to distinguish himself, he might have been accused of being cowardly. But now he’s as solid as a guy can be. He’s rock solid, a real ‘forever’ kind of guy. He is, in reality, a half-carat yellow diamond…resting in a nicely finished wooden box and sporting a letter of authenticity.
This is recycling gone crazy, although the argument could also be made it’s very practical and space- saving, since no burial plot has to be purchased. Just think, no more do you have to spend a lot of time and money with a boring old funeral home making costly arrangements to take care of the ‘garbage.’ Instead, you get to have all the fun of picking out new jewelry. That would certainly perk you up at a dreary time. Just think of the possibilities…
To create this gem, you have to heat the cremains to extreme temperatures, then the carbon is subjected to a walloping amount of pressure and finally you have a stone which is identical to diamonds that develop within the bowels of the earth over many eons. The nitrogen in the air is what causes the diamonds to be yellow in color, and unfortunately, you’ll probably be limited to only certain wardrobe colors, since the bright yellow wouldn’t look good on just any outfit. But hey, it’s only a small sacrifice, not enough to kill anyone. So to speak…
You’ll need insurance, of course, and I don’t know what actuarial chart you’d use to determine the value of the spousal diamond. But after all, if you didn’t want your spouse to be made off with by some other person when alive, you sure wouldn’t want your new ‘gem’ to become the victim of a crime as a jewel either. The process of making these jewels is expensive so the investment would be dear and I bet the insurance would be exorbitant…
The cost for a quarter carat is about $2,500 and goes up to $13,000 for a full carat, but according to the article, the diamonds can be made into any size and this is one case when overweight might be a true asset. (I just threw this last part in to make myself feel better since I admit to a little extra ‘poundage.’) I guess the price isn’t so much different, from what I’ve seen quoted for a ‘decent’ funeral and burial, whatever constitutes decent.
And why spend all that money on an albatross of a headstone to possibly be desecrated when roughians raid the boneyard on a spooky scrimmage at Halloween or after a night of heavy refreshment? This way, your loved one is in a nice, tidy easy-to-look-after little parcel…and you’ll be a couple again.
Ladies and gentlemen, just think…you’ll never again have to wonder where that darned spouse went. You’d always have him or her close at hand and you wouldn’t be disparaged if you have a penchant to spend too much money on glittery trinkets…or whatever else is your particular weakness. Close at hand but not looking over your shoulder either. If your diamond is from a beloved pet, there would be no obedience issues to cloud your relationship. This would be the perfect pet. Clean, beautiful and easy to handle… Hmmmmn, there might be something to this after all.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home